Marriage is the merging of two people with the same soul, in a timeless bond of everlasting fidelity and love.That is the story book version of it, anyway. It is true that marriage is the joining of two people who were made for each other from heaven, who had their destiny written on their forehead through the hand of God. However, the truth is that marriage is definitely not what it is cracked up to be. There are so many hidden traps and bombs in this very complicated relationship that it is impossible to be totally honest with your significant other.
The real reason is that love is a vulnerable state of being. We cannot afford to be hurt by the person you share a bed with, especially if the bed is not one of these bunk beds. We want to please them and make sure that they can say that they are happiest being with them. That is why certain things are better left unsaid, maybe because our significant others just can’t seem to take them.
It is a noble effort to be honest, but in the end truth brings so many hurtful things to the surface such that it becomes hard to be with that person.
What would you do if you fall out of love with your wife and start having feelings for another woman? Would you tell your wife that you don’t love her anymore? Would you, in an effort to be honest, disclose that you are actually partaking from the flask of love of a so-and-so sidedish?
Lies glue together marriages and relationships and if they we were to tell nothing but the truth, all hell would break loose.
As a married man or woman, the intimacy and doration that you once reserved for your partner may sooon dwindle. What then should you say if, and when, you don't find your significant other attractive anymore? If your partner becomes unattractive and if you feel they have become different from when you married, you should never disclose it to them.Swallow the bitter pill and act cool, unless you want to be slapped with divorce papers. Telling your partner that she has lost the oomph and glamour which first fascinated and catapulted you to making all those glorious precoital (sorry, premarital) promises you made is akin to giving them a duly signed and stamped cheating license.
It is very true that a person changes with time. Some change their values, everyone changes in appearance, in the end, no one is the same. The thing is that, no one wants to believe they have changed from the person their spouses used to love. No one can take it if their spouses say, “you were prettier when I first met you” or, “you’ve changed along the way.” It makes them feel as if they are no longer loved the way they are now, which is a very difficult thing to accept- especially when it comes to sexual love. It is best to be dishonest if your partner no longer rocks your boat.
Women Keep Secrets
That many women won't reveal alot of their intricate and intimate details is a fact that is well accepted among the alpha male generation. Creeps who pester women to give them such details as their age or the number of (this is the most creepy) love partners she has had before are only asking to be lied to. What about those who expect their Beyonce look-alike beau to reveal whether or not she underwent plastic surgery to achieve her good looks?
The inlaws factor
If a woman feels her mother-in-law does not approve of her, it makes her feel unwanted and inferior. There are lots of times when the mother-in-law would complain of your wife and naturally, your wife would want to know how she feels about her. The best thing would be to lie and say that things are fine. It might be far flung from the truth but in all honesty, it is the best direction to go.
Your Man Was No Saint
What if your husband has a secret second family? Whoever said to let sleeping dogs lie might have had men in mind. As a woman, one of the most well-kept secrets that you should never demand to get from your man is whether he ever sowed wild oats in his youthful and dashing times. Such matters are best dwelt with once the man rests in peace, and hopefully, if he was a man of means, the families start sprougting from whichever hole they had been hibernating. Now that everyone is engaging in casual sex, illegitimate children are wide spread. Many men do have contact with their mistress who incidentally may have conceived your husband’s children. A truth like this is bound to destabilize your marriage, which is why Jones prefers to keep it a secret.
Like Father Like Son?
The other day I was listening to a witty Benga song that claimed of a woman who gets pregnant from several men at once. One provides towards the ears, the other one towards the nose and so on, until the creature is whole. What if you are no longer sure if you are the father of your children? Many men are taking taking care of children that they are not sure whether or not they are the sirer. Trying to coach this information from Mama Babie will only get you an entry into the Guiness Book of World Records as the dumbest man in the globe. Trying to scrutinize Babie's ears aganist your own in the mirror could be construed as Child Harrassment. The safest thing is to let sleeping dogs lies, after all what you don't know cannot hurt you, can it?
Every Couple has a Couple of White Lies
Do you remember the ka-small lie you told as you were trying to woo your significant other, and she swallowed it as if it was the Gospel Truth? Time went by without any clarifications and with her believing that things are as you said they are. Well, this is not the time to clear the matter. Let her continue believing whatever she believed. Trying to come clean at this progressed stage of your relationship will only hurt her the more and change her perspective of you.
In the end, behind the many faces of love, lies a mask of lies pulling it all together. It is a harsh truth to take in but every married person knows that to go on living every day, certain lies need to be said, otherwise their marriage will be destabilised.